Kevin and Perry Go Large (2000)

golargeI remember seeing this when I was fifteen years old, and it immediately left a horribly foul taste in my mouth. To be specific, I felt disgusted by the film’s gross obsession with teenage sexuality, along with the main characters being obvious teen stereotypes. Since then, I’ve seen several bad movies, so I would have thought that I’d be used to some of the worst cinema has to offer, but after seeing this again, I can say without a doubt that this is the lowest of the low, worse than anything else I could possibly have seen before.

The whole film revolves around Kevin, a delusional and perverted caricature of a British teenager written and played by a man who, by the time of the film’s release, was nearly forty years old. The problem is that the writers clearly don’t know what they’re doing. They didn’t do any research on what it was actually like being a teenager in the 90’s, going only by what’s popular now, and the end result is probably the ugliest teen movie in history. For starters, the main characters are chavs (you know, the kind of people I loathe with searing disgust), and their whole goal is to be DJ’s and get laid in Ibiza (hint: they do this in the end), and everything between the beginning and end is a horrifying experience that makes you wonder why you even subjected yourself to it in the first place, as I did several times. The main characters are completely unlikable, mainly because they represent some of the worst teenage stereotypes the media could come up with.

I swear that older film writers like Harry Enfield have such contempt for younger generation that they just shove stereotypes down their throats and expect us young people to take it lying down. I bet Mr. Enfield took some sort of sick pleasure in making Kevin and Perry two of the worst characters ever written. The script is just terrible and cringeworthy, and given Enfield’s visibly jaded writing, that would have been enough were it not for the fact that the two “teenagers” are also vile and repulsive creatures. All they ever think about is sex, to the point that in one scene, Kevin is entirely okay with slipping someone the tongue before she could consent. Is that what Mr. Enfield thinks teenage boys are like? If so, someone ought to beat some sense into him, because I’ve just about had it with rich old people thinking they know what young people are like. The other characters are horrible as well, mainly because they’re personality is completely fake.

Of course, this is just one of several reasons why the film’s shallow pretence of satire quickly crumbles, but I suppose the main thing is that the film was pointlessly crass and brutally unfunny. My guess is that they were trying to be crude and offensive just for its own sake, perhaps in an obvious attempt to cash-in on the popularity of gross-out sex comedies, but judging by their failed attempts to get the film rated 12, they did an even poorer job at exploiting the more popular films than the more popular films did at even trying to be funny. Seriously, this is perhaps the flimsiest comedy film I’ve ever seen, and at this point I say comedy very loosely because there’s nothing funny about it at all, not even an accidental joke. In fact, it’s so bad that the writers resort to making an erection joke whenever they have the chance, and the way they do it is somehow even more shameless than the opening of The Dragon Lives Again. To make matters worse, the film also sports terribly cheap production values, and the producers seem to be wantonly spamming club music throughout the whole film. Just because it was the year 2000 doesn’t mean we wanted to hear horrible dance music all the time.

For me, what’s really sad is that this was directed by Ed Bye, the director and producer of the Red Dwarf series. If I’m right, then the director/producer of the Red Dwarf series is partly responsible for what I now believe to be the worst movie ever made. As embarrassing as that must sound for Mr. Bye, that’s nothing compared to everything else that’s horribly putrid about this mess of a movie. With abominable characters, a horribly written plot, awful music, no jokes, and a ton of other details that are best left unspoken, I’m very certain that this bad joke of a film is surely the worst ever made, and whoever made this should probably be embarrassed that they were even involved with it, since they’ve pretty much brought shame to comedy itself.

  • Score: 0%
  • Grade: U

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